I dread “the moment” as soon as I walk into a restaurant. There’s no way around it. I have to tell the waitstaff that I am allergic to tree nuts and sesame. My life depends on it.
But how will my server react? That is the thought that makes me a nervous wreck.
Here is an ideal situation. I’m in a restaurant with a group of colleagues, and want to partake of the pizza buffet. There are obviously things I need to avoid, like the orange sesame salad dressing and the pesto pizza. But visuals don’t tell the whole story. Nuts and sesame can turn up anywhere.
I tell our server, and she responds graciously. “Let me check in the kitchen,” she says. A few minutes later, she returns and ticks off a list of several items I shouldn’t eat. I am reassured, and can enjoy my lunch.
The food industry is well aware of nut allergies. I’m a school librarian, and I can be confident that if I buy lunch in the cafeteria, it will be nut-free. So many kids react to nuts that a third of the school would be puking, breaking out in hives or going into anaphylactic shock if they ate any.
Sesame is another story. While nuts the federal Food and Drug Administration requires that nuts be highlighted on labels, there is no such requirement for sesame.
For example, I wanted to buy some bread crumbs recently. Upon checking the labels on the containers, I saw that several brands contained sesame seeds. Although milk, soy and wheat (duh!) were highlighted, I had to read the fine print to see sesame.
Even worse, the presence of sesame might be hidden under the generic term “spices.”
There is a nationwide petition afloat to require manufacturers to list sesame as a possible allergen. It is a growing allergy, probably due to our increased ingestion of hummus, which contains tahini, a sesame paste. I love hummus, but now I have to make my own.
Because sesame is not an officially recognized allergen, it can be hard for me to determine whether a restaurant’s food is safe. You wouldn’t think a piece of fried haddock would contain sesame, but suppose the restaurant used commercial breadcrumbs for the coating? They might include sesame.
I wouldn’t expect most cooks to know this unless asked. So I was gratified, while at a seafood place, when a kitchen worker descended into a basement storage space to check ingredients for me.
But I never know what the reaction of restaurant staff will be to my statement, “I am allergic to tree nuts and sesame.” Sometimes they look at me like horns have suddenly sprouted from my head. I patiently explain that as an allergic person, I need to pass that information on. Sometimes I get the look of puzzlement even if the menu states, “Please tell your server if anyone in your party has a food allergy.”
I’m never sure if the quizzical server tells the kitchen there’s an allergic person in the building. It’s nice when they come back and tell me something to the effect of, “You can order that; it’s fine.” They seldom do.
Then there are those who seem to pooh-pooh my allergies. I could tell them that if I eat even a small amount of these foods, I will go into anaphylactic shock, and an ambulance will need to be called. But if they can’t assure me that the item I want to order does not contain my allergens, I should just leave. It’s not worth the risk.
I appreciated the owner of a small bakery/cafe, who said he had nuts and sesame seeds flying all over the kitchen. But I was having a salad, and wasn’t worried. Eating bread there would have been a problem, though, because of cross-contamination between the baking ingredients.
It should come as no surprise that eating out is not that much fun for me anymore. I rather regret that, as I do all the cooking at home, and appreciate the break. The dangers are too real, unfortunately. One manufacturer of frozen rolls changed the recipe to include sesame. I ate 1/4 of a roll and ended up in the hospital emergency room. Allergy experts recommend checking packages each time you buy them.
Recently, I attended a workshop for a board that I serve on. There were snacks and coffee available. I love to drink coffee, but it must be white. The only creamer available was Coffee-mate singles. I was desperate, so I looked online to make sure it didn’t include any allergens.
I knew I couldn’t touch the almonds, of course, but the dark chocolate looked good. Unfortunately, I know from grocery shopping that most chocolate candies are not only made in facilities that use nuts, but that fragments of nuts may be contained in the product.
I stuck with the grapes.
At lunch, I learned the hot offering included walnuts. That was OK, as there was a well-stocked salad bar. Though I do like coleslaw and potato salad, I was afraid to eat anything that wasn’t single-ingredient: lettuce, carrots, radishes…then I thought about the dressing. Hmmm. I asked one of the kitchen staff for his opinion. He came out to look, which I appreciated. “Don’t eat that,” he said, pointing to trail mix. No, I never eat trail mix. It’s a recipe for disaster.
He didn’t see anything else, but I knew there was no way he could know what everything contained. I tried the parmesan peppercorn dressing. It seemed the least likely to contain anything dangerous to me.
Sometimes I feel like all I eat is “rabbit food.” I have passed up rolls, French bread, cookies, cupcakes and pies because I didn’t know what was in them. Even a mint casually offered to me by a friend must be rejected.
I discovered my allergies in a restaurant, by eating coleslaw that contained walnut oil. Who would have thought about that?
But I’m not complaining about my deprivation. It’s good to be alive.
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