Column: Promoting kindness in a world that desperately needs it

Our country is angry and divided.The Kindness Bulletin Board is a refuge from the hate.

I’m a school librarian, and one of my colleagues found the idea online. The board, located in the high school/middle school library, is titled “Throw Kindness like Confetti.” Post-it Notes and markers are available nearby for students and staff to express good thoughts. These could be shout-outs to people or just a simple reflection on what makes the writer happy.

Our library student interns assembled the board. This itself was an exercise in goodwill. We have three helpers that particular period, and they didn’t know each other well before they started working at the library. On the surface, they have little in common. We’ve asked them to work together, cooperatively, and they have. But more than that, they have fun doing so. They don’t just tolerate each other; they enjoy accomplishing tasks together.

Once the board was finished, it didn’t take long for the first postings to appear. We were surprised and gratified when we spotted this one on a bright orange Post-it: “I appreciate every librarian in the library because they are always so kind to me. It makes the library a comforting place.”

We do see the library as a sanctuary. Sure, our main activities are checking out books, teaching research skills, conducting other library programs and helping students with research. But we know that when students have at least one adult at school with whom they can connect, they are more likely to be successful.

The library staff is, just by the nature of our job, accessible to all students. When they come up to the circulation desk to check out a book or a laptop, or ask to borrow a pair of scissors, they’ll encounter a friendly face. We don’t grade students, and we certainly don’t question them about their reading choices, so I think that helps them view us as especially non-judgmental.

The library is also a special place in the building. Students can choose to come to the library from lunch, break or academic make-up time. High school students can spend their study halls in the library as well. Once they’re in the room, they can work entirely on their own or with a friend. We don’t enforce silence, but we do encourage quiet. The library is a place where it is acceptable to be alone, to be focused and studious and even to be silent.

Now it’s also a place to express positive thoughts. The kindness movement—yes, it’s a thing—arose from R.J. Palacio’s children’s book, “Wonder.” It’s the story of Auggie Pullman, a boy who looks different, and his first school experience, as a fifth-grader. Auggie must adapt—but so must his classmates. Their teacher, Mr. Browne, posts a different “precept” each day; the first is a quote from Dr. Wayne W. Dyer: “If you have a choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.”

Promoting kindness may seem a simplistic reaction to what ails us as a society, but the message is one even small children can understand. I was in an elementary school as students formed two teams to play “Library Jeopardy.” One boy arrived late, and as he went to join his classmates who were sitting on a rug, several scooted away from him. All I needed to say was “be kind,” to put a stop to any further shunning.

I know I didn’t resolve the bigger issue in that moment; of course I didn’t. But the more students practice being kind on the surface, the better they get at it. True change is sure to follow.

We exercise our heartstrings when we write that a certain teacher “rocks” and post it on the Kindness Bulletin Board. When we publicly wish a friend a happy birthday. When we tell our audience, “Kindness is caring for someone even when they may not care for you.”

“Sunflowers still grow at night.”

“You are beautiful.”

“Saying hi makes people smile.”

Reading others’ happy thoughts also makes people smile. Students like to spend time with their cats and dogs and friends; they like llamas and goats; and, not surprisingly, since they’re teenagers, they like food. No one yet has mentioned any material items, and that is certainly refreshing.

“Share your love with people who need it.”

“Focus on the good things in life.”

The other day I checked the board and saw this: “Boron. Actinium. Oxygen. Nitrogen. Find the symbols!”

They spell “bacon.”

I smiled. I may not eat pork, but this student made my day. Winter has arrived early, and with a vengeance. Our climate is in trouble. Children are being teargassed at the southern border. The Kindness Bulletin Board is a true blessing.