The other day I had my husband take a photo of me as we walked along the coast.
Then I forgot to post it on Facebook.
Now, that was something different.
I have a love/hate relationship with social media, which I’ve written about in the past. Sometimes I just reach the point at which I can’t take another photo of anybody’s grandchildren, no matter how adorable they are. If I have to drive to work in the snow, when, as an educator, I was expecting a snow day, I might actually growl at a retiree’s pix of their vacation in the Bahamas.
Sometimes I am so worn out by the emotional toll of a people-filled day, I do not want to “see” more people on Facebook. I want to hole up with fictional characters, in the pages of a book.
But when I have some time, and life is relatively calm, I do enjoy seeing what my friends are up to. I like to share photos of my adventures, such as they are. (They tend toward movies, walks and museum visits.) It’s fun to post photos of my students as they participate in library activities, and to see the reactions of their parents and teachers.
I have always been able to find a balance with my use of Facebook because I don’t feel I need to visit it every day. I’m bemused by people who tell me, “I don’t have time to be on Facebook.” There’s no commitment necessary. I’ve had friends who, frankly, overshared, then suddenly dropped back to one post a week, or less. I doubt anyone notices my ebb and flow, but it’s definitely a thing.
Other friends have disappeared completely. One said she felt overwhelmed, because she felt she had to read every post. I understand that sentiment, but I just don’t share it. Once, a colleague started telling me a story about something that had happened to her, and then said, “Oh, did you see the photos on Facebook?”
“Nope.” She proceeded to show them to me on her phone and finished up the story. No worries.
I see no need to remove myself from Facebook; brief hiatuses work for me. One of the chief benefits of Facebook is that I can keep up to date with people. Of course, if I’m in a “I want to be alone,” mood, I might not be as current as I’d like.
A few months ago, a friend called and asked if I had heard any news about a mutual friend. Had she passed away?
I was shocked by the question, because I’d heard no such thing. No obituary had appeared in the local newspaper. I checked Facebook. Sure enough, someone had posted the day before that our friend had died. Other friends had chimed in with memories.
As I processed this sad news, I also reflected on the fact that I hadn’t seen the post until I deliberately looked for it. As I said, I’m not like the friend who felt she had to read every post, but I was, for a long time, scrolling through pretty much on a daily basis. I might not react or comment. It was like skimming the headlines on a newspaper website. It was also a habit.
But when I have some time, and life is relatively calm, I do enjoy seeing what my friends are up to. I like to share photos of my adventures, such as they are. (They tend toward movies, walks and museum visits.) It’s fun to post photos of my students as they participate in library activities, and to see the reactions of their parents and teachers.
I have always been able to find a balance with my use of Facebook because I don’t feel I need to visit it every day. I’m bemused by people who tell me, “I don’t have time to be on Facebook.” There’s no commitment necessary. I’ve had friends who, frankly, overshared, then suddenly dropped back to one post a week, or less. I doubt anyone notices my ebb and flow, but it’s definitely a thing.
Other friends have disappeared completely. One said she felt overwhelmed, because she felt she had to read every post. I understand that sentiment, but I just don’t share it. Once, a colleague started telling me a story about something that had happened to her, and then said, “Oh, did you see the photos on Facebook?”
“Nope.” She proceeded to show them to me on her phone and finished up the story. No worries.
I see no need to remove myself from Facebook; brief hiatuses work for me. One of the chief benefits of Facebook is that I can keep up to date with people. Of course, if I’m in a “I want to be alone,” mood, I might not be as current as I’d like.
A few months ago, a friend called and asked if I had heard any news about a mutual friend. Had she passed away?
I was shocked by the question, because I’d heard no such thing. No obituary had appeared in the local newspaper. I checked Facebook. Sure enough, someone had posted the day before that our friend had died. Other friends had chimed in with memories.
As I processed this sad news, I also reflected on the fact that I hadn’t seen the post until I deliberately looked for it. As I said, I’m not like the friend who felt she had to read every post, but I was, for a long time, scrolling through pretty much on a daily basis. I might not react or comment. It was like skimming the headlines on a newspaper website. It was also a habit.
But at the point when I learned of my friend’s passing, I hadn’t peeked at Facebook for several days. And I wasn’t sure why.
There are plenty of reasons to dislike this social media platform. The privacy issues are concerning. I don’t like it when, after visiting an e-commerce website, I then get ads from that company on Facebook. How does Facebook know I’m a Democrat? And the friend requests from obviously made-up men are tiresome.
At the same time, when I want to reach someone quickly and I don’t have their phone number, I can message them on Facebook. That is so handy.
But I think I might have been wrong about the commitment issue. Facebook is there whether I look at it or not, a kind of living organism. My friends’ lives continue, whether I “tune in” or not. If a friend posted something about her child’s accomplishment, and I didn’t see it to like it, was I a bad person?
Well, I had to hope that people weren’t keeping score. If they were, I would have to revert to a schoolyard rationale and say I don’t want them as friends!
April vacation came, and, as I might have predicted, I had time to make a few posts, and respond to more people (although not those fake wannabe boyfriends). Then it was back to work and I withdrew a bit. The eight weeks or so after spring break to the end of the school year are notoriously crazy, so maybe that is what accounts for the fact that I forgot to post a picture of myself having fun.
But then I had a photo to post on my school library page, and I remembered. I posted the fun shot on my personal page, and was absurdly pleased that 17 people (so far) have liked it. Sometimes, there’s just no accounting for human nature.
There are plenty of reasons to dislike this social media platform. The privacy issues are concerning. I don’t like it when, after visiting an e-commerce website, I then get ads from that company on Facebook. How does Facebook know I’m a Democrat? And the friend requests from obviously made-up men are tiresome.
At the same time, when I want to reach someone quickly and I don’t have their phone number, I can message them on Facebook. That is so handy.
But I think I might have been wrong about the commitment issue. Facebook is there whether I look at it or not, a kind of living organism. My friends’ lives continue, whether I “tune in” or not. If a friend posted something about her child’s accomplishment, and I didn’t see it to like it, was I a bad person?
Well, I had to hope that people weren’t keeping score. If they were, I would have to revert to a schoolyard rationale and say I don’t want them as friends!
April vacation came, and, as I might have predicted, I had time to make a few posts, and respond to more people (although not those fake wannabe boyfriends). Then it was back to work and I withdrew a bit. The eight weeks or so after spring break to the end of the school year are notoriously crazy, so maybe that is what accounts for the fact that I forgot to post a picture of myself having fun.
But then I had a photo to post on my school library page, and I remembered. I posted the fun shot on my personal page, and was absurdly pleased that 17 people (so far) have liked it. Sometimes, there’s just no accounting for human nature.
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